I love it [sarcasm] when a person comes up to me and tells me how great my life is, I mean I am almost white, i almost look Italian, Portuguese or somewhat European... well good because I am... on the other hand I also love [sarcasm again] it when someone tries to dictate TO ME my own reality or dismiss my words when I choose to tell someone about a day in MY shoes... the lady I mentioned with the weird look when I walk beside her... the white gay men constantly asking me where I am really from, [when you would think a 'minority' would know better than to put someone on the spotlight] and the twinks saying, 'oh girl please its not that bad, look at so and so [person of color] she never complains'...it is sad to see people simply dismiss my opinions about this city and my reality, and what I go by day in and day out... sure I am privileged, obviously I am online, I am of lighter skin [although when tanned my middle eastern roots clearly stand out and as a result I am seen as a "terrorist" and I am searched just enough to make me almost miss my flight] and that grants me certain privileges unfortunately and I work them to the best of my ability to get what I deserve in moments time in this system ... obviously I am not the most radical nor the most conservative person, but I like to stand up for myself and some who I know would appreciate it at some point...
"oh why can't we live in a color blind world? i mean i dont look at color" now that's the funniest thing ever, it is obvious people do this, we are human... hey I am not excluded from this...I live near projects and I haven't heard gunshots but I am wary when there is a group of guys in parkas...they are in parkas and caps...regardless if I see their face and just their backs... I do get a little shaky especially if it is dark out...movies, the media and our perpuation of this... if we keep treating youth as criminals of course they are going to be defensive and look out for themselves...there is a reason why people don't like cops...same criminals all the time... and jails are a corporation...keep putting them in jail and not educating them and well you have yourself a real good business idea...that will not depreciate because Black and Latino men will always be criminals according to the system...stealing money isn't a crime or is somehow seen as less of a threat to society with this ongoing crisis we are suffering from...but the simple doing of hanging out in a predominantly minority community is... in groups of 2 or 3...let us target the naturally social populations. Institutional racism is that power that no one can see and very few question, because people in power are so good at keeping it covered up, or because they dont want to face it...it is not a paranoia nor an intensely ludicrous theory that I and others came up with...where has the original south end, or Harlem [now SoWa or SoHa, SpaHa] gone [Boston amd NY reference]? the villa is still there, cathedral is still there, the Apollo is still there, hopefully will continue to stay there but who knows...the gentrifiers invested in these areas and have "cleaned" it up...by raising some kind of standards I have yet to see, and making it safer [whatever that means] good luck Jamaica Plain, Harlem, Bed-Stuy... "
"its not that bad", these words always resonate in my head when people choose when and where to insert themselves in my life and then criticize or add their literal 2 cents if that...then they leave and instead of providing some kind of support or dialogue they choose to ignore and live on their lives as if the conversation never took place...why is it always seen as a threat to talk about these things? ask, learn and listen...listen...don't dismiss...yes to each his/her own...but be willing to hear out an opinion and not dismiss it...afterall it is my reality...everyday, for some others as well...
its not that bad... its not that bad....its not that bad...yea it really is...
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